'We May Hit It a Few More Times Just for Fun'

Now listen. I’ve heard some things said out loud in this diner that made me set the coffeepot down real slow and take a breath. Man once told me he thought the moon landing was filmed in Odessa. Another one tried to pay with Chuck E. Cheese tokens. I thought I’d heard it all.

And then the President of the United States went on NBC and said he might bomb Iran again — and I want you to hear this exactly as he said it — “just for fun.”

Just. For. Fun.

He also declared he had “totally demolished” Kharg Island, which handles the lion’s share of Iran’s oil exports. Totally demolished. Like a man describing a burger he ate. Proudly. On television.

Global condemnation followed, which apparently surprised someone, somewhere, though not anyone who’s been paying attention. Leaders from countries that used to return our calls are now watching this the way you watch a stranger’s toddler knock a full drink off a restaurant table — horrified, relieved it ain’t yours, and not about to get involved.

He also said he wasn’t ready for a ceasefire. Of course he wasn’t. You don’t stop the ride when you’re having fun.

That’s the word he used, sugar. Fun. Men and women in uniform are in harm’s way, oil markets are having a full-on episode, and the man in the big white house is describing acts of war the way my nephew describes blowing up ant hills with firecrackers.

There’s bravado, and then there’s whatever this is. I’d call it reckless, but that almost sounds too dignified.

Somewhere a diplomat is staring at a wall right now. I feel for them. I genuinely do.

More coffee? It won’t fix anything, but it’s hot and it’s real.