The cameras were on. RFK Jr. was at the podium discussing what he called a fertility crisis in America. Senator Katie Britt was there. Dr. Oz was there. The Agriculture Secretary was there. The President of the United States appeared to be asleep.
“Sleepy Don” hit the trending column by evening.
The White House communications office, an institution with a staff and a budget and a press credential program, reviewed the footage and issued its considered response.
“He was blinking, you absolute moron.”
That sentence is in the record now. A presidential spokesperson typed it, approved it, and published it. About the President’s eyes. To the American people.
What the statement lacks in diplomacy it compensates for in taxonomical specificity. The President was not unconscious. He was performing a biological function. If you cannot distinguish sleep from blinking, the White House has now clarified that the problem belongs to you.
The event had been organized around maternal health. Motherhood. Fertility. The President’s next physical is scheduled for May 26. One imagines the blinking will be logged, assessed, and released in a summary report affirming his tremendous vitality.
There are press releases issued every day from that building. Most of them go unread.
This one will not.
The breakdown.
- Factual basis The event, the video, and the official White House response are all documented.22/25
- Self-awareness Falling asleep during a maternal health event while RFK Jr. discusses a fertility crisis is almost too easy.18/20
- Staff containment The spokesperson called the public absolute morons in an official capacity. In writing.19/20
- Recovery attempt No recovery. They doubled down with an insult and logged it as a correction.12/15
- Public spectacle Sleepy Don trended. Oval Office cameras were rolling. Senator Britt and Dr. Oz were in the room.17/20
Was this dumb enough?
Members can adjust the score. Become a member.